Rambling in Pain

I've not slept well. Now I'm rambling. Is that the purpose of having this blog? I get so very distracted when I'm in this much pain so I turn to Scripture as often as I'm able for peace and comfort.

I find in Jeremiah 16: 18 "Why is my pain perpetual and my wound incurable, which refuseth to be healed?"

God's reasons are RIGHT. My pain is NOT a result of my unfaithfulness, quite the contrary. My pain is endured BECAUSE of my faith.

"So that we ourselves glory in you in the churches of God for your patience and faith in all your persecutions and tribulations that ye endure:
Which is a manifest token of the righteous judgment of God, that ye may be counted worthy of the kingdom of God, for which ye also suffer:"
2 Thessalonians 1:3-5

Vesper Chime

Saturday was my 51st birthday! I realize time is passing so quickly for me and I don't want to miss a thing! God's precious gifts are all around me.

My husband bought me some windchimes for my birthday. They are called Vesper Chimes. The card that came with them tells the story:

A vesper bell is a bell rung to call worshippers to Vespers, or evening prayers. Traditionally, in both the Roman Catholic and Protestant liturgies, Vespers includes the Song of Mary - know as the Magnificat -from the Gospel according to Luke, in addition to several psalms and prayers. This chime is specially tuned to sound like the ringing of distant curch bells.

My soul proclaims the greatness of the Lord, and my spirit rejoices in God, my savior, For he has looked with favor on his lowly servant Luke 1:46-48

http://64.106.200.92/data/memimages/228599/sound/VCS.mp3

I hope the link works to listen to the beautiful melody! I hung the chimes on the carport because that is where we sit in the evening playing with the dogs. The sound of the chimes remind me that my spirit DOES rejoice in the Lord!

Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy

"Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy Syndrome, RSDS, is now referred to as Complex
Regional Pain Syndrome, CRPS. It is a progressive disease of the Autonomic
Nervous System .
RSD/CRPS is ranked as the most painful form of chronic pain
that exists today by the McGill Pain Index.
There are FOUR Main
Symptoms/Criteria of CRPS/RSD:
1) Constant chronic burning pain (includes
allodynia - extreme sensitivity to touch, sound, and vibration) 2) Inflammation
(this can affect the appearance of the skin, bruising, mottling, etc.) 3)
Spasms-in blood vessels and muscles of the extremities 4) Insomnia/Emotional
Disturbance (includes the major changes to the limbic system such as short-term
memory problems, concentration difficulties, etc.) "

copied from http://www.rsdhope.org

Well, welcome to my world! The list of symptoms can go on and on. I have been blessed with all of the above mentioned at one time or another and sometimes all of them at once! Lucky me!

"Ye know how through the infirmity of the flesh I preached the gospel unto you at the first" Galatians 4:13 Paul was physically challenged and yet continued to preach and praise. I think I shall do the same in what ever capacity the Lord leads. For the moment, Blogger seems to be the path to follow. Maybe someone will be searching for answers about this horrific affliction and stumble upon teachings of the Word! In spite of the pain, I shall praise!

Sometimes you can close your eyes and hear the tape recording of quotes or little sayings you've heard all your life. The following is a list of quotes that I hope my children have heard over and over....

• NEVER sing "Standing on the Promises" sitting on your butt!!


• You ain't gotta like it, you just gotta deal with it (I still hear Andy saying it! Thank You, Bubba)


• Christians aren't perfect, just FORGIVEN!


• Know WHY you believe WHAT you believe!

I'm sure my children's tapes play out differently than I remember but I pray they are positive, loving, and kind recordings. As children, Craig and Cristie were both, at times themselves like tape recorders and spued forth at unexpected times. Example:

Sunday morning. Craig was about three years old. We were visiting a new church. The sermon was awesome and I was still shedding tears of repentence when we got to the car.

Craig: "Mommy, why are you crying?"

Me: "Son, the preacher really stepped on Mommy's toes and I needed to hear the things that he had to say."

That afternoon we decided to return to the church for the evening service. Again, it was wonderful and as we were leaving, the preacher was at the door shaking hands with everyone leaving.

Craig: "Mister, please don't step on Mommy's toes, she cried all afternoon!"

The preacher LOVED it!!!

We tend to forget that children watch examples better than they listen to sermons!

BabyDoll Angel...

Well, I guess I should start at the beginning. My first memories of my life and childhood were about my grandparents, my babysitter, and believe it or not, my biological father, Lee. By the time I was three or four, my mother was a single, very hard working, goal oriented, (and Beautiful, if I might add! and still is to this day!!) mother.

I spent most of the week at my babysitter's house, or she would come to our house. First it was, "Cocoa, toast and cereal" for breakfast, tuna or macaroni for lunch (I was the "official taste tester"!), a nap in front of the fan on the floor (still can't sleep without a fan - who needs a blankie?) and then do it all over again the next day.

On the weekends, I went to my grandparents' houses. I now think it was because my dad lived with his parents and he was supposed to have visitation. Sometimes he was there and for the most part he wasn't. But I certainly remember the times he was!!

On the one hand, I saw things that NO child should EVER see...the fights, the drunkedness, and it was all out in the open. My brother knew the telephone number for the police department (we didn't have 911 back then!) by heart. It became a weekend ritual.

On the other hand, when Daddy was sober, I had so much fun. He was attentive, caring, and so focused on teaching me things like how to express my opinions. He was so very intelligent when he wasn't drinking. I learned important things by the time I was four or five like how to order a cherry in my coca-cola, how to make a great Chef-boy-ardee pizza, why you should always eat an appple when you have popcorn, you know, the IMPORTANT things!

Hebrews 12:9 "Furthermore we have had fathers of our flesh which corrected us, and we gave them reverence:..." Yes, the Bible requires us to be reverent to our "fleshly" fathers. In spite of all of Daddy's flaws, there was always respect, reverence, and obedience.

I was his "Baby Doll Angel" and Andy (my brother) was "Butch". No one ever called us those names except Daddy. Until,...I met Dennis, my husband. He used to tell me that I was such a doll. I think I would cringe when he would call me that. He is so observant that he realized it upset me a little. Now he calls me "Baby".

Several years ago when I first got an internet account, my daughter, Cristie helped me set it up. I thought she was so clever to come up with the name "Denzdoll". Get it? (so many people don't, that is why I'm blogging about it - Ha). Well, it's "Den (Dennis) z ('s) Doll (me)!!!!! I've had so many people ask me about that screen name and when I explain it, some feel dumb for NOT getting it because it really is CLEAR! But, NO, Dennis does NOT refer to me as, "Denzdoll"!